According to marketing execs and those in advertising, what mums really want for Mother’s Day is to sleep in followed by breakfast in bed and completed with a lavishly over-the-top designer gift that will instantly make her feel like the hottest mama on the block.
Of course, for any of that to be possible, one would need a partner or some super grown-up kids. For those of us without either of those, what’s our Mother’s Day all about? Do we even get one if the only person acknowledging it is ourselves?
As we watch our social media feeds get flooded with pictures of gifts and emotional shoutouts, our day is just like any other. Except, we’re not really like any other. Sure, every loving and caring parent works their booty off for their kids, but when all is said and done, when the kids are in bed, and you pop your feet up on the couch, what really sets us apart, is that, at that moment, we are so utterly and completely alone. We don’t have a person to run through the ups and downs with, someone to make the big decisions with, someone to plan with and laugh with, we just have silence and the overwhelming feeling that we have no idea what we’re doing.
And it’s not that we don’t, of course we do. Our kids are well taken care of, well loved, and are filled with the big dreams we have for them. Yet, there’s this constant devil on our shoulder telling us that we can’t do this alone-that this job was meant for two people. And that exhaustion that seeps into every single bone in our body throughout the day makes that devil feel even more real until we find ourselves standing in the sunshine, ready to flick him off of us until we’re thrown for the next loop.
And it seems as though we have no time for ourselves, yet we spend so much time by ourselves that the paradox is almost deafening.
So, we didn’t get brunch today or jewelry or even flowers, unless of course we bought them for ourselves, and I damn well hope other mums did, that they do when they see beauty that catches their eye and their hearts, because this job is damn hard no matter how many parents there are, and yet we rarely celebrate ourselves.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mums who always feel like you’re not quite good enough, not perfect enough, and yet, you are.