So hard to believe that the girls are closing in on three months. Even harder to believe is that our due date is Thursday, but there is still no end in sight for having our girls home.
Raegan has had quite the week, busy with bottles, tummy time, and new fun adventures like a mobile to watch and sitting in a carseat for the first time!
Ella is doing well, too, just a bit behind her sister. Raegan took all her feeds except one yesterday by bottle, which is a big step towards coming home. If she can continue to do that, her feeding tube will come out permanently. Ella gets better with bottles every day, but doesn’t always finish them. She is no longer spelling though, and is having more wakeful periods.
Ella is just shy of 7 pounds and Raegan is 6 pounds, 8 ounces so both have passed their minimum weights to go home. They also need to have their feeding tubes out, be bottling at every feed and gaining weight, be off their monitors, and pass carseat tests before they can go home.
After weeks of hearing they could go home early, now I know it will be longer. They have said Raegan could even go home weeks before Ella. The idea that Raegan would be home but Ella would still be here is heartbreaking to say the least.
Last night, I received a letter from Easter Seals asking for money. In it, they described a girl who, at birth, had had a brain injury which the ultrasounds showed the damage could cause cerebral palsy. The similarities between her and Ella made my blood boil. Enraged, I tore up the letter and told Jas it felt like a cruel joke. I’ve never received anything from them before, and it felt like a slap in the face. Obviously, I am in the anger stage and do not begrudge Easter Seals. We may, in fact, need them in the future. Still, even the simplest activities like opening the mail no longer feel safe.