I think I am so lucky to have had a wonderful birth experience before the girls’ c-section for so many reasons.

One of my dear friends went into labour Thursday and we were messaging each other back and forth as her labour progressed and it brought so many memories back to my birth with the kid. I still remember the first contraction, the drive to the hospital, and how close we were to having him in the lobby of the hospital. Jas and I were just talking about his birth last night; how I pretty much had to keep my legs crossed so he wouldn’t pop out before they were ready to catch him.

What is particularly great is that I can relate and talk about the birth. If my section had been my first, I would have no idea how it’s “supposed” to go. No idea about back labour (super fun!), contractions, and the fabulous water breaking (or in my case, exploding). Of course, I could listen and ask her about it, but would have nothing to offer in return.

So many preemie mums, and even some full-term, don’t get to experience a natural birth, and I feel extremely lucky that I did. Yup, lucky. Sure, it hurts, but it was such a surreal experience and it’s become a family story between Jas and I. We don’t talk much about the girls’ birth yet. We will, but it’s just too soon.

I don’t think I was ever a worry wart mum. After we got the feeding under control, I could not get out of the house enough and I feel the same with the girls. They spent the beginning of their lives stuck in a tiny hospital room. I want to talk to them about the birds chirping, I want them to feel the wind and rain, and one day sooner than we’d like, the snow. I want them to see colours and meet new people. I want them to make friends and read stories and just be normal. I can’t keep them, or me, in a bubble.

If they had been born first, I don’t know if I would be different. Most first-time parents are anxious, and let’s be honest, a bit nutty, but I don’t think I was ever like that. Who knows though if things had been reversed, maybe I would always picture their teeny two pound bodies, or worry about germs, infections, and people.

We are so lucky to have three gorgeous children. And despite it all, I am so lucky to have experienced both kinds of births. As my husband tells me, that c-section saved our girls lives, and really, that’s all that matters.