Dear Momo Mama

In so many first time posts from new Momo mamas, they’re asking for assurances, asking those of us who have been there to tell them it will all be ok. Of course, we can’t, but I think there are some things I can say.

Dear Mama,

You have just been given the greatest news; you’re pregnant! You imagine your belly growing with a teeny little being who will instantly turn you to pudding the moment they arrive in the world. You think about what it will be like to be a Mum or what having a second or third child will be like.

Then, you’re told the scariest news; mono mono twin pregnancy. You Google and are immediately filled with fear. Cord entanglements. Late term miscarriage. Stillborn. Premature delivery. C section. NICU. You can literally feel your heart sinking to your stomach as you think of anything happening to the two tiny peanuts you already love.

We, your fellow Momo mamas, have been there. Our stories are all different, some unbelievably sad, others a beacon of hope. We, and now you, are part of a small community.  Only 1% of twin pregnancies are mono mono. There is little research, and depending where you live, there may be limited knowledge around you. Doctors may even suggest to terminate such a high risk pregnancy because they just don’t know anything about it.

I can tell you that what you’ve read is true. This pregnancy will be scary and it will fill you with doubt and uncertainty. You will feel at fault, you will feel alone, no matter how surrounded by love you are. 

I can’t tell you what your outcome will be. I can’t tell you how long you’ll be in the NICU.

I can say that when you’re up late at night, feeling kicks and jabs, that when you’re sitting in a dark room pumping,  or strapped to a monitor watching two competing heartbeats, we’ve been there.

This pregnancy will be hard. The NICU time harder. You may experience loss, there will be sadness. But we’re here. If ever you feel alone. We’re here.

Our stories and journeys differ, but we are a group of tough mamas who hold on to hope that our children will grow, will know love.

You can stay strong, you must stay strong, but when you feel like you need a rest, we’re here.

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