Since Buds was born, I’ve been a lot of different type of mums; first time mom, stay at home mom, working mom, pregnant mom, twin mom, preemie mom, and mom of three. Now, I am really starting to think about being a special needs mom.
I guess I’ve technically been a special needs mom since the doctors told us that Ella had experienced a brain bleed that would most likely result in either a physical or developmental disability. But, of course, even though we were told several times about what could happen, we both told ourselves that everything would be fine.
As time has gone on, I have had to readjust my outlook. Not to become a negative Nancy, but instead, to approach each appointment with both the knowledge of what’s been going on with Ella medically, and also sharing what she’s doing well in. (She’s getting stronger and can pass toys back and forth from hand-to-hand. She also giggles constantly. )
Technically, Ella hasn’t been diagnosed with anything, she’s being monitored. Of course, does the diagnosis matter? The girl’s been to more doctor’s appointments than most thirty year olds and is on the wait list for every service the city has to offer. She may be diagnosed with cerebral palsy in the future, and my status as a special needs mum will be confirmed.
It’s not a label many would like to have. It’s hard to imagine a different life for your child, but sometimes you’re dealt a crappy hand and you can either fold, or see what the turn card is. I have so much faith in all three of my kids, no matter what happens and I’m damn proud to be their mama, no matter the label.
I was going to tell you to have faith, but you already have that. I feel for your little girl having to be in and out of doctor’s offices like that. My heart goes out to all of you. Parenthood is difficult enough without the challenges that sometimes get handed to us. One of my friends has a child with special needs. She also has 3 children. Her sister often tells her, I think God places his special children with the ones that will offer the most patience and love. I believe that. Good luck to you mama. Love and prayers for your sweet girl.