I’m a member of my local twins group and it’s fantastic for most twin related needs, except for what it’s like to have one twin develop at a typical rate and the other to be behind. My NICU and preemie groups are mostly full of singleton parents, and the twins that are parts of those families usually are both at similar stages of development.
In other words, I don’t feel like there’s too many people who get our situation and who can relate, so I turn to writing.
In my latest piece for Twiniversity, I write about what it’s like to have two very different babies. Babies who are genetically the same, but differ in almost every other way. I essentially have three children at different developmental stages and I need to not only care for them, but help them flourish in their own ways.
I have another piece coming for my own blog about our new reality and my feelings with it. As our identity as a family changes, one thing stays the same; my kids amaze me and fill me with love and wonder every day.
http://twiniversity.com/2015/02/my-non-identical-identical-twins/
Adventures With Multiples 
I have irish triplets with almost the same circumstances as yours except my are all boys. I have my first son ethan who is 11 months older than my mono-Di twins Gavin and Gabe. My identical twin boys were born at 30w2d and gavin suffered from a brain bleed called PVL. They are now 3, 2, & 2 having birthdays in August, and Gavin is non ambulatory confined to a wheelchair, stander, gait trainer and Gabe is completely mobile. Ethan and Gabe act like twins and Gavin is my “baby” needing full assistance with everything. I completely can relate to the post you wrote but I have to talk all three of mine to every doctors appointment. Gavin was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at 9 months old and so was Gabe actually though Gabes only affects his legs and ability to stand up straight and is much milder. It doesn’t really hinder him at all. Please feel free to email me or contact me on here or my blog http://www.icraveasimplelife.com anytime!
Wow, thanks so much for sharing your story! I can’t imagine bringing my three to appointments, it would be total chaos, and of course, the stares people would give. Uh. I’m sure you must find it hard to cater to all their unique needs as well
Yeah we forgo the wheelchair for a quad stroller when we go out, less support for Gavin, but better for my sanity! 🙂 It is a lot of work. Ethan’s ahead for his age, a true preschooler, then Gabe is a terrible two, and Gavin is still essentially just a really smart infant physically. It’s mind blowing to think they would all start kindergarten at the same time if we did public schooling because developmentally they’re all on different planets!