I cannot imagine there’s too many mamas who would be ok with leaving their children at home for an extended hospital stay. Not knowing how long I’ll be in here, not knowing how much and what I’ll miss is hard.

I’m thankful that Buds is in a good age, he is not so little that I may miss a big milestone like first word or first steps, but he’s also not going to remember this time and doesn’t think I’ve abandoned him.

Every visit and phone call I get from him help me feel like he hasn’t forgotten me, and Jas is always quick to text me pictures and stories, but it’s definitely not the same as being home and tucking him in bed every night.

As he tottles off to leave, with a wave and a “bye bye, Mama,” I’m thankful that he’s so adaptable to be able to stay with Grandma and Papa and not scream that he’s leaving me, but it’s also just one hug too few to make me feel better.