It is now officially March, and we’re inching towards our due date. So close, in fact, that it just hit me in the face, much like the smell of pee hits you when you walk into the subway.

Due date means home.

So, I guess we should get ready to bring two new babies home, huh?

I am equal parts ecstatic and terrified. Jas and I ran around the last two days picking up car seats and other essentials and it just makes it that much more real. I can’t believe it’s been almost two months since the day our girls decided to enter the world. You would think that in that time, we would be ready, ticking off each day until they’re home with us. With Ella being so sick, and taking care of Buds, and recovering from the section, and the pumping, and the back and forths to the hospital, time has just slipped away.

While we may be preparing with things, preparing emotionally is a whole other deal. I am scared for so many reasons. Scared that the girls could continue having their apnea spells, scared that something could happen and I won’t know what to do, scared for Ella, and, to be honest, scared to have twins. Unfortunately, they don’t come home with a pair of nurses to watch over them and make sure I’m doing everything right. So, that means I’ll be on my own and left to ensure I don’t screw it up.

As their homecoming gets closer, and I wash their tiny outfits, and put their room together, I can only hope that these two girls will fit in seamlessly with our family, and that caring for twins will come as naturally as it can.

I mean, how hard can it be?