Mother’s Day is usually filled with people buying cards and flowers and tends to bring on sappy commercials that make moms cry.
But, aside from the gifts and the extra shout outs on Facebook, it really should be a day for us mums to reflect too.
Being a mum is hard, damn hard. Whether you were a NICU mama or not, a mom of a singleton or of multiples, a younger mum or an older one, you work your ass off for very little praise in the hopes that in the end, your kid will grow up to be well adjusted, successful, and loved. Good looking too, if you’re feeling greedy.
We as mums know that it’s hard out there, but we perpetually do two things; we belittle ourselves, and we engage in mom wars.
Show me a mom who when faced with a compliment, accepts it willingly and toots her own horn and awesomeness, and I’ll show you 10,000 who don’t. Even those God damn Pinterest mums who make pinecone centerpieces for Thanksgiving have their doubts if they’re really doing a good job. We all think we’re depriving our kids of something, or we get embarrassed when our kid makes a loud noise in a restaurant or throws a fit when you refuse to buy him a cookie for breakfast. The constant questioning, researching parenting methods, just to feel like we’re doing an ok job, not even a great one, just ok.
The mom wars do nothing to help. We fight with each other about breast versus bottle feeding, cloth versus disposable versus no diapers, cribs versus co-sleeping, crying it out versus being soothed. Reading the comment section on anything to do with parenting will make you fear for the future of this planet.
Can we all just shut the fuck up? You are a great mum. Period. You, sometimes with a partner, sometimes without, make the best decisions for your family and your kids. Who the hell am I to judge? We will disagree; I for one think Alicia Silverstone is bat shit crazy, and there’s no way I’m chewing my kid’s food and feeding it to him, but I don’t begrudge her the choice. Really if he’s happy and healthy what do I care? (Of course, immunization aversion is a no-go for me for so many reasons, but particularly for kids health.)
You are a great mum. I could say this 1000 times and you’ll still think you’re not. Calm the voices telling you you’re not good enough. You give all of yourself to your family ALL THE TIME. Ain’t no calling in sick to mamahood. As mums, we take on the work of several people and we do it because we love our kids and our families. We always come last.
We’re fighting with ourselves enough that we need to stop fighting each other. Do you think most Dads sit around analyzing other Dads’ every move, including what they wear for pick up and drop off duty? No, cause they don’t care. They’re pretty secure in the fact that they’re awesome, their kids are awesome, so who cares if there’s dust on top of the TV.
We need to band together more as mums, and as women. We know it’s hard. We know things like breastfeeding don’t come easy so why in the hell do we make the mums bottle feeding feel like shit?
As moms we take on many roles; teacher, friend, confidant, and we do it all unconditionally. We love our kids immensely because they are our hearts. Let’s believe the best in ourselves and in other mamas. Even the ones who look pulled together may just be hanging on by a thread.
So, Happy Mother’s Day to you, and remember; you’re doing a great job. You are a great mother.