The Re-Traumatization of a Fragile Mum

I recently joined some online support groups for parents of mono mono twins. I probably should have joined while I was still pregnant, but never really thought about it.

Recently, I was perusing through facebook when I saw some mums had posted pictures of their mono mono twins’ cords; bloody, tangled, and often knotted. My stomach immediately dropped and I felt tears in my eyes. In that moment, I was back in the doctor’s office, at around 15 weeks pregnant, being told that my ultrasound picked up that the cords were tangled.

Of course, cord entanglement is the biggest concern with mono mono twins as the more they tangle, babies receive less blood, and can die from severe tangles and knots.

After the girls were pulled out of me and were already being worked on, the doctor asked if I wanted to see a picture of the cords.

“No!” I practically shouted, “who would want to see that?” Even the question sent a shiver down my spine. Now I’ve come to realize that most people do take photos of their cords.

In some ways I can understand it; it really drives the whole “miracle” aspect for people, like look what my kids survived. But, seeing those pictures makes me feel sick, makes me feel like I’m back at the beginning, back to the unknown.

At my post section follow-up, I mentioned to my doctor that they had asked about seeing the cords, and I declined. My doctor told me she’d been sent the photos, and told me that it was a good thing I didn’t see it.

So, I guess mom really does know best.

2 thoughts on “The Re-Traumatization of a Fragile Mum

  1. Eek! Sometimes it really is better not to see, or not to see until you are ready (I wouldn’t look at my emergency c-section scar until almost seven weeks post partum!) On a more joyful note, happy Mother’s Day, Alyssa! I hope you get some lovely, gift-wrapped sleep. πŸ™‚

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