The Gender Gap

I have never really felt that boys need to be constantly clad in blue and girls in pink. I think the idea is old fashioned at best.

When Buds was younger, he wore boy clothes, but they weren’t covered in baseballs or emblazoned with the words “I am a boy,” still I felt it was fairly obvious that he was, in fact, a boy. Yet, people always asked if he was a girl. People will still sometimes ask, and it’s just one of those eyebrow-raising moments more than anything.

I find it funny that now that we do have two girls, people always ask me if they’re boys, or a boy and a girl, which considering they’re identical, is always interesting. The other day I had Ella in one of the kid’s old outfits, which is brown, and Raegan was in green. At the mall, a girl told me how nice it was that both boys were sleeping at the same time. I wasn’t offended but wondered what exactly made them look like boys? The fact that they weren’t wearing frilly pink dresses?

Braeden looked like Jas when he was first born, but then started to look more like me and the girls look like Jas still. Maybe that explains the assumptions? I heard once that boys who look like their mums and girls who look like their dads have good luck. Of course, that’s along the lines of wearing jewellery while preggers causes the baby to have birthmarks, but still, it’s a nice thought.

I just changed the stroller canopies to pink, not because I wanted it to be obvious that I have girls, but they’re cooler for the summer and have UV, and I thought the pink was cute. I kid you not, people still ask me if they’re a boy and a girl, so clearly the colour thing isn’t the issue. Maybe people assume that the ideal twins are boy girl so they project that idea onto everyone with twins?

I think our gender ideals are ridiculous and a waste of time. Over the weekend, Buds picked up his stuffed panda bear, rocked her like a baby, put her on her belly for tummy time, and cuddled her while she slept. There was no prompting, but he was obviously imitating what he sees on a fairly regular basis, and I thought it was adorable and sweet. I never would tell him that’s what girls do or just the mama because that’s bullshit. A good man should do all those things he did, and we should expect them to. If he is playing in such a sweet way, it’s nice to think that he’s seeing the same things at home.

So, my girls will continue to wear other colours than pink and I will continue answering that I my identical girls are actually both girls.

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One thought on “The Gender Gap

  1. I enjoyed reading your post! I have identical twin daughters (now 6-years-old), and people always used to think I had one boy and one girl when they were infants. It didn’t really matter what color they wore. I agree that people are just projecting what they think is the “ideal” situation: one boy and one girl. When I was pregnant with my twins, people used to say, “If you have one boy and one girl, then you’ll be done!” Along the same lines, now that I’ve had a third girl, people often assume that I’m trying for a boy (I am not!). There is an assumption that having at least one of each gender is the goal.

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