The crying game

I doubt there is a single parent out there who appreciates the unsolicited baby advice that gets flung their way.

One of my favourite stories was the time Buds was around 14 months and we were quickly grabbing a few things in the grocery store before heading to dinner with a friend. Upon seeing Braeden’s flailing and crying at being strapped into his umbrella stroller, the cashier argued with me that he was obviously tired and needed to go to bed. Even when I explained he just wanted out of the stroller and to eat, she flat out told me I was wrong. Umm, thanks, but I think I’ve got my own kid figured out. Sure enough, as soon as I took him out and got food into him, he was a happy camper.

I’ve definitely heard some doozies since having the girls, but the new thing seems to be crying. I was at the grocery store with all three of the kids and was at the cash waiting to pay. Raegan started crying which I suspected had to do with the fact that we were standing still and she was tired. Not even thirty seconds into her cry, someone in the store asked me if they should pick her up and comfort her, you know to help me out.

No, you crazy woman, I do not want a complete stranger taking my kid out of her carseat to “comfort her.” In fact, if you could stay at least four feet away from my babies at all times, that would be great.

I know no one wants to hear a baby cry, with the exception of course of their first one, but, and I know this is shocking to some people, babies cry. A lot. That’s pretty much their way of expressing any opinion, and, yup, it’s normal.

Since having the girls I’ve heard from several people that they “just can’t stand when babies cry. I don’t know how you do it.” Passive aggressive mom shaming aside, I don’t like my kids crying either, but I have three of them, and yup, sometimes they all cry at once. My head could explode, or I could calmly assess which kid needs what first and deal with it from there. If upon hearing my baby cry each time, I flung my arms in the air and yelled “Stop everything! We have a crying baby here!” well, let’s just say, shit wouldn’t get done. In fact, I might still be in some random aisle of the grocery store, shushing my kids and rocking them to sleep.

So, to recap; babies cry. Believe me, they cry. I know why they cry and you telling me they’re hungry doesn’t help, especially if they’ve just eaten. Your pitying looks and so-called helpful suggestions do nothing to comfort them or me. And to be honest, I’m not much concerned if you have to hear them cry for two minutes, I’m more interested in my babies’ opinions of me than I am of yours.

Of course, if the crazy lady wants to come over at 3 AM and comfort my crying babies, I could be down for that. Just don’t tell me that they need to eat.

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2 thoughts on “The crying game

  1. I cannot believe how much unsolicited advice that you continue to receive! What is wrong with people? In the beginning, when I first brought my girls home from the hospital; especially at the 3-4 hour feeding mark- I tried to get to them before they would cry. I could not stand to hear them cry. It still bothers me, especially since my return to work and trying to tend to their needs during the “witching hours.” I commend you, Mama! You put it best: babies cry…period. You do your best but when you have three, someone is bound to be upset at the same time as another. It IS NOT a reflection on your parenting skills, which I feel that so many people judge, especially when you are out in public.

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