Last weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving, and it inevitably lead to everyone posting about what they are thankful for. Sometimes, when I look around at the mess, or deal with the tantrums, or feel nothing but exhaustion, it can be really hard to feel thankful. It can seem like the world has conspired against us sometimes; when it rains, it not only pours but the roof leaks and the floor floods and the window breaks and the power goes out and the fridge stops and we lose hot water and we run out of diapers and it just. doesn’t. stop.
But, it doesn’t take much to bring me back to reality. Ella and I had an appointment at the rehab hospital where she receives services, and there in the elevator, was a little boy with two prosthetic legs talking to his mum about running and playing. And it was just such a normal parent child interaction, like nothing in their lives seemed to be different. But, of course, I know, as do other special needs parents, that that’s not the case. That sometimes the walls close in and the doctors and therapists start to sound like the adults on Charlie Brown-making little sense as we nod along nonsensically. But then, I look at Ella, smiling and chatting to strangers from her stroller about the car she was holding and giggling at me as she sassily told me, “I’m not listening!” and I’m thankful. I’m thankful for such a strong daughter, who is usually stronger than her mama. I’m thankful for our past which has created our present. I’m thankful for tiny moments of reflection amongst the chaos. I’m thankful for my three hooligans who equally keep me on my toes and keep me giggling.
I’m thankful that when life seems to be especially bitter, that the four of us are all here to not only survive, but thrive, together.