Why do we do this to ourselves?

I recently saw a post on BabyCenter that was about your parenting style based on whether or not you found out your baby’s sex while pregnant. Curious, I clicked through and had to roll my eyes.

The blog was about a study that had been completed with women who found out their baby’s sex and those who didn’t. The study’s author claimed that women who found out the sex were poorly educated and from low-income families who held strict gender roles, while women who waited for the surprise believed in more modern and fluid gender roles and were better educated and had more money.

Umm, ‘scuse me?

Forget about the validity of the study, the ridiculous findings, and the degrading stats; just what in the hell was the point? Other than to make a large group of mums feel bad about themselves, this study offered no benefit. We’re not learning anything from it other than the fact that some people are trying to continue the mommy wars through “science.”

Jason and I decided, together, that we wanted to know both times. The second pregnancy I had wanted to be surprised, but with the news of twins, wanted to be better prepared. In reality, I’m glad I knew beforehand as their birth was anything but beautiful, and at that moment there wouldn’t have been a surprise, I was more concerned that they were alive.

Not that it matters, but, I’m not poorly educated, I have my Master’s degree. We’re not rich or poor, we’re somewhere in the middle. The ultrasound tech didn’t ask for a copy of our salaries or diplomas, in case you were wondering.

There was a time that everyone knew what they were having, with only a few odd parents out waiting for the surprise. Now, being surprised is the new “thing,” but do I believe it plays a role in gender norms? Ummmmm, not really. I know mums who have been surprised and have found out, and they all parent differently.

I have to wonder who would approve the study and why BabyCenter decided to post about it. No mum is immune to the looks, whispers, backhanded compliments, so why do we continue to do this to ourselves?

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One thought on “Why do we do this to ourselves?

  1. I wanted to be prepared also, and that’s why we decided to find out the gender of our babies before the birth. Little did I realize that nothing could really prepare us for twins – – ha ha! This study was a ridiculous waste of time and resources that could have been spent on something much more beneficial!!

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