Tomorrow marks yet another year and even more new year, new me pledges. Of course, we all recognize that change is hard but there’s a deep seeded desire to change things; to not remain status quo. This year has been a hard one to witness; a year full of social movements fueled by the daily assaults and microaggressions faced by thousands, a President whose office has sickened me every day where I cannot handle watching the news anymore, countless natural destructions, and the loss of many. It has been difficult to parent in this state of unrest, difficult to sometimes find the goodness in others, and for many of us, difficult to find the ability in ourselves.
So, of course Happy New Year to one and all, but I’d like to leave a note in particular to my fellow mamas.
Happy New Year, Mama. Happiness to you and your loved ones as the year starts fresh. May your littles be tucked into bed at midnight and may a smile or snore find you come the strike of the clock. May your heart be full of light and ready to hold steadfast as the North Star of your family. My biggest wish for you and I is to know how badass we are, how our parenting may be nothing alike but we’re holding it down for our tribe in the best way we know how. And may judgmental glances bounce off our glittering souls as we recognize that we’re doing a fantastic job that is usually thankless, and often unnoticed until we’ve essentially screwed up or let one ball in our constant juggling act bounce to the ground.
Happy New Year, single Mama. You tough as nails strong souled woman who is probably, like me, entering this year feeling exhausted down to your core. My biggest wish for you and I is for us to one day know our strength. For you to wake up, look in the mirror and see your cape flapping behind you. I hope we can see how we’re superheroes; how parenting isn’t meant for one and how it is beyond necessary to remember we are human with our own hopes, dreams, and aspirations and we are allowed to feel loss that we are in this alone, to acknowledge that this isn’t what we pictured for ourselves, or our kids.
Happy New Year, caregiver Mama. For every mum who is caring for a child with different needs, whether it be illness, disability, or injury, may this year bring you and I peace. May we wake up without tears, but with hope. May the grief we experience for our child be lessened; may we recognize that our kid’s awesomeness is at least in part to our own. My biggest wish for you and I is to have a year where we compare our stories less with others’. May the heartbreak we experience as we see other families be lessened, may we know that there is no perfect day, no perfect life. May we see our child’s strength and begin to recognize our own.
If nothing else this year, I hope that I and all the mums in my life, fighting their own battles, wiping their own tears locked in their rooms, know that this job will never get easier, not really, but we can handle it. If we can handle the side eye and the calls from school and the tantrums at the mall, it’s because we were built to handle it, those stretch marks on our tummies or dark eye circles proof that our bodies are strong enough for whatever shit gets thrown our way.
Happy New Year, Mama. May you keep being the mum you need to be and start loving yourself as much as you allow yourself to love others, you deserve it.