My Non-Identical Identical Twins – Twiniversity

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I’m a member of my local twins group and it’s fantastic for most twin related needs, except for what it’s like to have one twin develop at a typical rate and the other to be behind. My NICU and preemie groups are mostly full of singleton parents, and the twins that are parts of those families usually are both at similar stages of development.

In other words, I don’t feel like there’s too many people who get our situation and who can relate, so I turn to writing.

In my latest piece for Twiniversity,  I write about what it’s like to have two very different babies. Babies who are genetically the same, but differ in almost every other way. I essentially have three children at different developmental stages and I need to not only care for them, but help them flourish in their own ways.

I have another piece coming for my own blog about our new reality and my feelings with it. As our identity as a family changes, one thing stays the same; my kids amaze me and fill me with love and wonder every day.

http://twiniversity.com/2015/02/my-non-identical-identical-twins/

Calling all firemen!

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Braeden Patrick at his third birthday party February 22, 2015

I cannot believe my little bear is three! What a special birthday this was,  his first really being aware of what a birthday actually is. Per his request, we celebrated with a firetruck party!

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Fireman bubbles for favours

While the party won’t make any BuzzFeed lists, I think the theme was present from the firetruck balloons to the favours, decorations, and amazing cake. I did have a total moment of panic when Party City had zero, I mean bupkis,  firetruck supplies. In fact, my friend had to pull me back to reality so that I wouldn’t let a three year old’s party defeat me and we ended up at a store on the Danforth that was firetruck mecca.

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The birthday boy!

The kids coloured, sculpted play doh, finished the giant firetruck puzzle, but mostly played with the dozens of firetrucks I brought from Buds’ own collection (amazingly, not his entire collection). I mean, who doesn’t love firetrucks?!

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The amazing cake from Tori and Cate ' s Cupcakes, Toronto

I did at one point think about making the cake myself – I looked up how to shape the cake and decorate it, and then, I stopped being crazy and decided to pay a professional.  Not only did it look amazing,  it was delicious, and still is. I’ll be enjoying some leftovers later!

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About to make a wish

One of my favourite parts of this party was that Buds asked to invite some friends from school and then was so beyond excited when they came. When they went home, they all hugged each other which literally melted my heart.

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Mama and Raegan

Braeden is still talking about his party and has demanded that his balloons remain  parked in his room for the foreseeable future.

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A sleepy Ella

So grateful for everyone who came out to celebrate my favourite guy especially considering the year he’s had too, always being so patient, loving, and kind, so sweet to his sisters and making everyone laugh.

Love you, kid, happy birthday!

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!!

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Braeden turns 3! February 19, 2015

Exactly three years ago, only one day past his due date, I was experiencing contractions every minute and could not sit or lie down. By 10 PM, my water burst everywhere and after being run dramatically down the hospital corridor to a labour and delivery room, Braeden entered the world and made me a mama.

It literally feels like yesterday that he was born, but it also feels like he’s always been my buddy. He is three and time has flown by.

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Just a little excited at his birthday dinner

My little guy never ceases to amaze me. This year is the first time he’s expressed any interest in his birthday, and has been excitedly telling everyone that his birthday is February 19th. He’s a typical three year old in so many ways; he loves Thomas, buses, cars, and firetrucks. But, he is also so incredibly special.

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Braeden and Daddy

How many three year olds request charcuterie for their birthday dinner and then steal one of Grandma’s duck spring rolls to top it off? That’s my guy.  He loves to share a charcuterie plate with his Papa and requested that for his birthday. He was so happy to show his friends at school his special birthday shirt and tell them he was having dinner with Grandma and Papa.

I know how special Buds is. He’s incredibly sweet, silly, curious, and imaginative. I obviously love him bunches, but when we got to the restaurant where we often go with my parents,  we discovered that the owners had decorated the tables for us and had even bought Braeden a birthday present. It takes a special kid to be so loved by relative strangers.

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His birth day is turning into his birth weekend with a trip to the aquarium tomorrow and then his big firetruck party Sunday.  But special moments like this deserve recognition and attention, after all, it won’t be long before he’s telling me he just wants to hang out with his friends on his birthday.

They really do grow so fast, and I want to cherish every bit that I can with my extra special Braeden Bear.

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Battle of the Bulge Update: Month One

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Month one! February 16, 2015

How has it been a month already since I decided to rejoin Weight Watchers??

It’s been a great first month. I’ve lost 9 pounds and have 9 pounds left to my pre – twin weight. Guessing around five pounds to go before I can fit in my “skinny” jeans again. Oh man, I particularly miss my fabulous Adriano Goldschmied ones from Anthropologie. Fashion is a damn good motivator!

I actually forgot how easy Weight Watchers is. For those wondering,  I do not do meetings, I’m strictly an app girl. I don’t really need the meetings,  just the tracking and reminders. I particularly love to add up my activity points just to see how much I did each week. I have never traded my activity points for food and rarely use my extra weekly points; however,  B’s birthday is Thursday and party Sunday, which means two birthday cakes soooooo I’ll be using some for sure this week.

I’m doing some super easy exercises at home in addition to walking. We haven’t gone out much thanks to the disturbingly cold weather we’ve been having, but pushing my double stroller through the ice and snow definitely got me extra points.  I do 100 squats a day plus some other core based exercises like planks and bridges.

So here’s to 9 pounds down and to enjoying birthday cake, because a life without cake isn’t really worth living, is it?

Battle of the Bulge Update: Month One

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Month one! February 16, 2015

How has it been a month already since I decided to rejoin Weight Watchers??

It’s been a great first month. I’ve lost 9 pounds and have 9 pounds left to my pre – twin weight. Guessing around five pounds to go before I can fit in my “skinny” jeans again. Oh man, I particularly miss my fabulous Adriano Goldschmied ones from Anthropologie. Fashion is a damn good motivator!

I actually forgot how easy Weight Watchers is. For those wondering,  I do not do meetings, I’m strictly an app girl. I don’t really need the meetings,  just the tracking and reminders. I particularly love to add up my activity points just to see how much I did each week. I have never traded my activity points for food and rarely use my extra weekly points; however,  B’s birthday is Thursday and party Sunday, which means two birthday cakes soooooo I’ll be using some for sure this week.

I’m doing some super easy exercises at home in addition to walking. We haven’t gone out much thanks to the disturbingly cold weather we’ve been having, but pushing my double stroller through the ice and snow definitely got me extra points.  I do 100 squats a day plus some other core based exercises like planks and bridges.

So here’s to 9 pounds down and to enjoying birthday cake, because a life without cake isn’t really worth living, is it?

Calling all Supermoms!

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You know how there’s this vision of Pinterest mums? Women who drop their kids off at school in these fabulous outfits with all locally sourced organic lunches who breeze around town in amazing four inch heels and have some super chic job that they love and excel at before coming home and making an amazing,  snap-worthy four course meal that their entire family raves about. Yah, I’m pretty sure those women don’t really exist,  other than in our minds as the ultimate standard of supermom.

Now, my love of food should come as no surprise.  After all if I didn’t love food, why would I need to be doing Weight Watchers? But cooking really has never been a big interest of mine. I love to bake, and I think the difference is that cooking is so intuitive;  a little spice here, some tweaking there, whereas baking is specific; you need specific amounts of certain ingredients or it just won’t work.

Now that the chaos has mostly settled, I try to actually make dinner and not just toss a grilled cheese at the kids. And yes, I turn to Pinterest to find relatively easy, yummy recipes that don’t require a degree in culinary arts to complete.  Sometimes, it’s really good and I shock myself and though I haven’t made anything inedible,  I’ve learned that the “healthy” options are just not for us. It’s all about portion sizes, not about eliminating yummy foods.

Tonight I made an awesome bolognese from scratch and even made peanut butter cookies (with Ella in the carrier!) for dessert which had the bonus of impressing Buds and not tempting me as I don’t like peanut butter cookies, I’m a chocolate chip girl at heart.

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My bolognese simmering away

Some days are insane and I’m lucky to be able to pop a frozen pizza in the oven, and then other times I’m making roast chicken and watch the kids devour it. Buds even had seconds tonight, if that’s not an endorsement,  I don’t know what is.

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It's peanut butter cookie time!

So, I will never ever (ever ever EVER) be a full fledged Pinterest mum, but I’m making my own Supermom costume in my own way, and let me tell you,  it looks fabulous.

We’re 13 months old!

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Ella and Raegan at 13 months! February 7, 2015 (day 397)

Thirteen months! Next month the girls will be at their corrected one year, which is hard to believe though they seem to change every day.

Raegan is 18 pounds and 28 inches long and has six teeth (the top front four and bottom two) and is getting more. Those canines are definitely getting ready to pop through soon. She is pulling herself up every now and then and still hasn’t settled at all, she needs to be in constant motion. She loves to eat, especially meat. She’ll pick out the meat from the assortment of food on her tray and wait for more before settling on fruit or vegetables.  She is a babbler,  always telling stories.

Ella is 19 pounds and about 29 inches long. She has five, almost six, teeth (top front three and bottom front two), and like her sister will soon have more. She is getting close to rolling over on her own and is definitely getting stronger. She was officially diagnosed with cerebral palsy, but of course, that is such a broad term. Ella also loves to eat and hasn’t met a food she doesn’t like yet!

The girls have started chatting with each other. The other day at lunch they would turn to each other; one would babble, then the other, then back to eating. I wish I knew when it was coming so I could tape them!

January was filled with doctor and therapy appointments and now February is filled with snow so not too many fun things happening, but we’re fitting in as much as we can! We hit the Target clearance sale yesterday (the Canadian stores are all closing – boo! ) and Raegan wriggled around the cart which was hilarious! Ella was pretty happy gnawing on her chewbeads and staring at me.

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Our Target adventures!

Who knows what fun adventures we’ll get into this month!

He’s not a baby anymore

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Buds at his friend's party

On Sunday, I took Braeden to a birthday party. We’ve probably been to forty or so before,  but this one was extra special. The reason?  This is Buds’ friend from school, in other words, a friend he made all on his own, not one of my friends’ kids.

It’s amazing to see him grow up so much. It was super adorable watching him play with his friend, whose jaw dropped when he saw Braeden at his party,  so excited to see his buddy outside of school.

With him at school, he’s pretty independent and gets to decide what and who to play with, how much he eats, even how much he sleeps. He’s grown about four inches and gained around 3 pounds this summer. He’s not a baby anymore,  he’s a big boy, as he constantly reminds me. Though he likes to do things himself, he still wants hugs and cuddles and even goodnight songs. I know that I’ll blink and he’ll be grown up so I’m trying to enjoy this time as much as possible and continue to watch him learn new things.

His third birthday is only a few weeks away and he is excited for the first time, counting down to his party. He requested his friends from school be in invited and even picked the theme – firetrucks,  of course. My little guy isn’t so little anymore, even though it feels like yesterday that he was born.  Time is flying by, but the weirdest part is that I haven’t aged a day.

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You know my name isn’t Mummy, right?

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My parents gave me a name when I was born, as parents do. Sure, my name has resulted in some pretty epic Starbucks fails and always left me wondering if the teacher was calling for me or if there actually was a kid named Alicia in class with me, but I like my name.

Now, this may come as a shock, but, my parents did not name me mom or any variation of it; mum, mummy, mother, the dreaded mommy. You see, it may be surprising to those who see me as a generic mother figure who accompanies her children to their doctor’s appointments.

Today at Ella’s appointment,  I was Mummy. I think in the span of ten minutes, the technologist referred to me as Mummy about 55 times.

I get it. You work in a children’s hospital. You have kid after kid filing in and don’t have the time to learn everyone’s name. But, then, just don’t call me anything. Just say, “this is what’s going to happen” don’t add “Mummy, this is what’s going to happen.”

Some parents may not be bothered by it, after all, we love our kids and are proud to be their mums. But that’s not my whole identity. When I gave birth to Braeden, an automatic name change didn’t happen. The social worker in me knows it is about identity. I don’t want Ella to ever be her diagnosis and that’s why I didn’t allow a diagnosis of CP to happen earlier, I want her to just be Ella. Amazing Ella. That name was carefully chosen for her and is filled with love and hope for her, and is easy enough for any barista to get right.

So, yes, I am a mum, but I’m also Alyssa, and don’t you forget it.

Let me tell you about a girl named Ella

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Amazing Ella, that should be her full name, though I am quite partial to Ella Noël. 

Honestly, she is amazing. This is a girl who fought hard for her life when she was smaller than a football. A girl who has spent the first year of her life at appointment after appointment. A girl who has two therapists, five doctors, and clinics at four different hospitals.

Ella spends most of her time with people poking and prodding her, moving her arms and legs in different, and probably uncomfortable,  positions.

But, she is calm. She smiles constantly.  She giggles with her whole body and has the rosiest, chubby cheeks. She has a natural chocolate scent in her hair and the sweetest blue eyes.

When her sister is screaming, Ella is looking at her, places a hand on her as if to pass along some of her calmness.

Ella is a constant observer. She loves people and wants to see what everyone’s doing. She loves her maraca and her stuffed toys. She loves being read stories and adores her big brother. She loves chewbeads and often picks up the necklace to happily gnaw away for a few minutes.

Ella loves food. She will eat anything and laughs when she really likes it.  She grumbles at me if I’m too slow with the food, but always rewards me with a smile.

Ella tries so hard. She tries to sit up, to roll over. She does her exercises and stretches, usually while giggling.  She tries to feed herself and gets creative. She tries and she’s so smart.  My girl is not a quitter.

Ella is a cuddler. She loves to snuggle in, and often pats your back. She loves to pull my hair and finds it hilarious.  She laughs when I brush her teeth and does her best to steal her toothbrush from me.

She is so sweet, so funny, so smart.  This girl is going places.

Oh, and Ella has cerebral palsy.

But that doesn’t seem so important,  does it?

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Ella, January 27th (day 386)